Monday 24 October 2016

Things they don't tell you

We had a bit of barney in the papers and news media this weekend, the Russians are coming, or rather they came and went their way through one of the world's busiest shipping routes. The headlines engaging this topic were just a teensy bit bizarre, I'm not that sure how often war ships are spotted in the English Channel but it wouldn't be too much of a surprise to learn it was something like, every bloody day. Of course this is a special case because while we're not exactly at war--yet, with the Russians we are engaged in a degree conflict because we're allied to the powers trying to bring down the Syrian state, while the Russians on the other hand, are Syria's ally. I suppose there's something to be grateful for in the fact that the conflict with Russia, at present, takes the form of an exchange of stern words rather than anything more dangerous. It has though, been a certain cause for bewilderment that the credibility of the public pronouncements accompanying episodes such as this, is quite so tenuous, or is it really such a surprise?

Just suppose for a moment that uncle Vlad was every bit as bad as implied by our politicians and the media. That he circumvented and suppressed democracy in his country and held on to power by the most brutal means. One of the means would be a clandestine paramilitary force associated with the ruling party. While the association would be close and the loyalty of that paramilitary group unquestioned, it wouldn't be wholly financed by Vlad or his party, rather it were left to its own devices to raise funds for both its own activities and Vlad's party. Such means would include blackmail, extortion, drug trafficking, prostitution and murder. What a shocking state of affairs that would be, how do you think it would play in the British press? I'm thinking we'd be hearing about it a lot, every day in fact, with accounts of this abhorrent behavior emblazoned across the newsstands.

Of course there's been no such paramilitary involvement in mainstream European politics since Nazi Germany has there? Oh really, well let me tell you about an organization you've never heard of: Service d'Action Civique. You've never heard of 'em because--well not a very convenient fact to be bandying about in the media really. Thankfully this organization was consigned to history, when the voters in their country, France in case you hadn't guessed, got fed up with the party ruling their country since the end of the war and voted in someone else. Thing is though, this paramilitary group was alive and kicking through the 60's, 70's and into the 80's, merrily going about their business and how did the British government react? Were there any trade sanctions or angry speeches in the house of commons? Er no--what the government in fact did was get into bed with Frenchy and open up the British market to his industry and agriculture.

So how does this relate to the current difficulties in our relations with Russia? My explanations is that, all sins are forgivable (if not publicly so) if there's something in it for the lads. So uncle Vlad, yeah he probably isn't someone you'd want to annoy and he is, let's face it, a politician so he's subject to the same circumspection we should reserve for all politicians. As for the other stuff, the things that're hinted at, like political rivals at home and abroad being subject to threats and assassination, well who knows? What I do know is though, if he were French and he were doing it in 1964, everything would be just fine.

Thursday 20 October 2016

After the flood

I saw something today which although not a particularly uncommon sight, I've never actually been in a position to observe such an event in its entire splendour before, a rainbow. It caught me unaware as I stepped through the door and it's fair to say that its beauty startled me for a second. I just couldn't stop looking at it, it seemed to make that autumn sky, usually so encroaching and opaque, just so enormous. It was the same feeling you get when you're on the coast and horizon opens up, the world suddenly becomes so much bigger. I could see so much of the sky, not just the underside of a few clouds.

As I walked past a house, my eyes fixed upon the vivid hues, a mother stepped through the door with her child, 'It's a rainbow' she said. The child's first I imagine by the tone of her voice, she pronounced rainbow with that sense of awe mother's reserve for their children. I've no firm Idea how old the child was, my attention being focused elsewhere, I got the sense that she was holding a bundle just under toddling age. I'm wondering how the sight seemed to that child, will they be looking for another rainbow tomorrow or were they too young to perceive it properly? Who knows but I think that mum will remember their child's first rainbow.

Monday 17 October 2016

Fatal misconceptions



This is actually not a bad video, albeit a bit light on detail, what it does illustrate though is the power of ill conceived notions. There's a process through which information is disseminated and acquired that is a bit like Chinese whispers: send three and fourpence we're going to a dance. It occurs where there's a common exchange of information that is generally accepted as fact but the information of concern, was acquired without sufficient insight or context to apply it effectively. Generally the consequences of such activity are insignificant, people just go around with a bunch of notions in their head that are not connected to reality. Big deal, that happens all the time, read a newspaper or watch the a television news bulletin and you'll find a bunch of folk making their living ensuring that condition is maintained. This particular notion though, the Spitfire's fatal flaw, is an exception; unfortunately it's been implicated as a contributory factor in an accident that lead to the death of two people. I call this process of flawed information exchange, eavesdrop acquisition, which seems to aptly summarise it because the information of concern is often overheard during a casual encounter and the peril of eavesdropping is the lack of relevant context.

The details of the early iteration of the Spitfire's fuel system and its performance during negative g relayed here are essentially correct, it's just that the implications drawn are misleading. Weapons like the Spitfire are essentially solutions to engineering problems, because they're used in conflict the effectiveness of such solutions is subject to an intense imperative. Practical engineering is a process involving compromise and trade off, the fastest aeroplane you can make, wont be the one with the highest climb rate so you settle upon a compromise between those two goals. In the meantime, you do your best to ameliorate any negative impact of such compromise. When it came to designing the Spitfire their solution was, let's get as much power out of this engine as we possibly can. Maybe as a consequence of this urgent imperative, the negative g performance of the Merlin's fuel system, seems to have been overlooked or even placed on the back burner, it being seen as not of immediate significance. Unfortunately that all changed rather catastrophically when Johnny French adopted waving white flags as his national past time.

When Fritz spanked Frenchy and sent him to work in the cheese factory, one of the consequences was they captured a number of intact Hawker Hurricanes. The Hurricane's engine and fuel system were essentially identical to the Spitfire's and what did Fritz find when he put this booty through flight test? Yep, look what happens when you put the thing into negative g. So the flaw in the Spitfire wasn't so much the compromised fuel system, it was the fact that the Germans knew about it and were able to exploit it. They also found a number of other significant flaws with the Hurricane, not least its header tank situated on the cockpit side of the engine firewall, just behind the pilot's instrument panel. They must've laughed their nuts off when they found that howler. Incidentally, after testing the Hurricane, the German opinion was almost universally derisive. Which must've been a great relief to them because the Me 109 had been, rather hastily, rebuilt into a much larger aeroplane after a panic at the German air ministry prompted by the Hurricane's introduction.

So why didn't the Germans win The Battle of Britain then? Well although the negative g performance of the early Spitfire's and Hurricane is a significant flaw, it's only really exploitable in a head on confrontation or against an inexperienced pilot. It doesn't work while you're being chased by a Spitfire because your opponent has ample opportunity to avoid negative g, all he has to do is bank his aeroplane and pull back the stick. It works head on because you can just gently nose down your 109, the Spitfire can't bring his weapons to bear and goes sailing over your head. The flaw caused enough concern though, to prompt hasty remedial action. The video's account is reasonably accurate in this regard, Miss Shilling's orifice, followed by successive more effective solutions. So in short measure, poor ol' Fritz found himself sauntering through the sky thinking he'd dive to safety, only to find himself facing eight angry machine guns, that must've been a bad day.

So how does eavesdrop acquisition prove to have fatal consequences in this case? Well the misconceptions around this topic aren't just related to the means by which the Germans acquired knowledge of this issue and were able to exploit it. Perhaps because of the rather colourful term associated with Miss Shilling, the tale of the Spitfire, negative g and the orifice in question had become a bit of common banter; raised whenever the topic of conversations turns to The Battle of Britain, the Spitfire, the Merlin engine or aerial combat in general. And so 'knowledge' of the Spitfire's and Merlin's negative g flaw, permeates the broader collective consciousness. So when two pilots noted intermittent problems with one of the engines on their Merlin engined Mosquito bomber, they drew upon their common understanding to attribute it to this flaw. The simple fact that the negative g flaw had been diligently and systematically eradicated from all Merlin engines by a process of managed and recorded modification, as is standard practice in the aerospace industry, was lost upon them. As a consequence they missed a vital clue to the condition of the engine after faulty maintenance.

And so I'm afraid, that's how the fatal consequences followed. I suppose there's a lesson there; be careful of the wisdom you bestow, make sure it is actually wisdom.

Sunday 2 October 2016

Shoes

There was this Scottish guy called Allen and he says to me 'Are you left handed?'. To which I reply in the negative, I was going to follow up my response with something like; why would you think I'm a cack-handed freak? but prudence got the bettor of me. Just as well really because he informs me that he's left handed and it's not too wise to jibe your superiors with such banter. It becomes apparent though, he's got a bee in his bonnet because he pursues  the topic, 'Are you sure...' yeah like that makes sense, someone not knowing which hand they favour. So to placate his curiosity I inform him that my dad was left handed, and that he was a tailor so it was something that he had to accommodate with special shears. 'I've noticed you do lots of things left handed' he continues, 'can you write your name with your left hand?'.

'I dunno, never tried.' I tell him. Anyway he passes me a pen and scrap of paper and I write my name left handed, which to my eyes, looks like the trail left by spider who's just escaped drowning in ink; Allen though, is pretty impressed by it. I invite everyone else seated at the table to have a go, we were at lunch by the way, but no one else seems inclined to try. And so the incident subsided into history, just another piece of inexplicable trivia from the past. Until that is, I had trouble with a new pair of shoes, the laces just wouldn't stay done up. So I tried to solve the problem by investigating reasons why laces would continually work loose and I came across this video: You've been tying your shoe laces the wrong way.

Right a new way to tie shoe laces, this has gotta be worth checking out I think; isn't it amazing what interest in trivia the internet arouses? Something seems very wrong though as I watch the video, the guy seems to be demonstrating the technique the wrong way round, as if he were left handed. Not another cack-handed freak I think, what the hell makes him think he's a suitable person to instruct normal people? So I find another video, same problem but this time I manage to work out these people are demonstrating the same method of tying laces that I use, just the wrong way round. That's a strange co-incidence though I think, two videos and two lefties, what can be up? Then a disturbing possibility dawns on me, hastily I check out other lace tying instructional videos and everyone is tying their laces the wrong way round. Eventually the penny drops and I realize that dad taught me how to tie shoe laces left handed. Armed with this new insight my attention returns to those troublesome shoes, the ones with the recalcitrant laces. Doesn't it make sense that the nap on laces would be arranged for right handed people, I think to myself, so I reverse the laces and guess what, it works.

So if you've got a pair of shoes where the laces keep undoing, forget the new way to tie laces, it's most probably the way you tie 'em already anyway. The problem is probably, that you're either a freaky left handed aberration or that the laces have been threaded incorrectly. It only seems to be a problem with very flat tape laces too, the ordinary round ones work either way.