Game of Throbs

So they ditched the nudey and umpty bumpty, not quite as quickly and as completely as the notorious Stargate SG1 but for the most part it's gone. The incidents that remain seem a bit like, cue the naked ladies, but it was always a bit incongruous. I can't quite get over how soapy the whole thing feels, you find yourself engaged in a story line, to find it ditched for four episodes; by the time it resurfaces, it's a case of, oh yeah I forgot Jake Plod was about to be eaten by snowmen.

There's something that's been bothering me though, something that no one else seems to have noticed but was apparent right from the first episode, here's the opening title music.

Here's the opening title from another show.

You might notice that the second clip is not consistent with the details on the continuity board.

Chunky lady fest

You know the kind of winsome willowy chick that is supposed to be the ideal of physical beauty? Well they're nice but there's just something about chunky ladies and did you ever meet a winsome willowy chick that wasn't a total bore? Okay  I know Lee Meriwether seems like fun but what are the chances of bumping into her?

I'm not sure what the current scene is like but this is a video from a few years ago, reminds me of a night out on the pull from my youth when the girls were getting a bit competitive. In fact it's so evocative, i can almost hear the conversation, 'I'm going for the one in the purple--if she's still concious after they've finished'.

'Na, you've no chance while she's still awake'.

Crikey man, this is a long wrestling match, those ladies are working really hard, I hope they get paid well.

Dog days

So there's this news story I came across, 'Rocky the orangutan apes human speech in knockout study'. I noticed the pun of course but it serves a duel purpose in this instance, it's also highly equivocal. A fact that is rather unfortunately demonstrated by the video that accompanies the story. Alas Rocky doesn't speak in the video, he doesn't even ape human vocalisation, what he in fact does, is grunt. Ape grunts, doesn't quite have the same impact does it?

This isn't the only case of attention seeking I've witnessed in the field of animal studies lately. Recently there was a story that could be summarised as goat stares, masquerading as somehow a relevant incident for media attention. It was supposed to be fantastic because the goat in question, wanted something from the person he was staring at. Yeah well domestic animals interact with humans that way a lot, hens will even tug your trousers if they think you have a treat for them, in way not dissimilar to kid pestering a parent for ice cream.

So how come this stuff gets into the media, well I put it down to another story that isn't newsworthy: humans are stupid.

Twin tub

You know there's those gender stereotypes of the guy who's competent with mechanical devices and the chick who can't understand them. I do have a certain empathy with that notion because, more than once, I've tried to explain to a female how to change down in a car and honestly, it was like talking to a rabbit. I just got silence, a strange look and the absolute certainty that no meaningful communication passed between us. The thing is though, those stereotypes rely on a false assumption, that assumption being, you need to know how something works to use it effectively. Yes it's true, women go through clutches on their cars like a baby on a prune diet goes through nappies but they still manage to get from A to B on a regular basis. The real proof of this concept though, is the automatic washing machine, have you seen how effortlessly women use those things? Put a guy in the same position and you're talking either Vesuvius or the deluge in the kitchen. Why should this be I wonder, well I put it down to something called the black box concept, although in this context white box would probably be more appropriate.

A black box in science or engineering terms, is a device which has an opaque mechanism. You put something in one end and something else comes out the other, you don't bother to look inside to see what's happening. Automatic washing machines epitomise the black box, you put soap powder and dirty laundry in, presto chango, clean laundry comes out. I don't know about you but as a guy, that all seems all perfectly reasonable, so how is it I can never get the thing to work properly? I've done all the research, I know about water hardness, temperature, low foaming detergents, suffocants, the lot and yet about 20% of the time it's a complete disaster. I'm not the only one either because I've noticed, there's a distinct preference for twin tubs with guys who do their own laundry and of course, this being the case, twin tubs are pretty much impossible to buy. This is because they stopped making them, or rather, they stopped making them here but--this is not the case everywhere. If you live in Asia, the middle east, South America pretty much the whole of the world except for Europe and North America, you can buy the modern equivalent of a twin tub, yeah thanks for that.

In truth, there a few modern twin tub washers available as grey imports, the problem being, importers have been bringing in the cheapest and lowest quality items, in effort to get a decent return on their outlay. So guess what's happened as a consequence--yeah that's right, classic twin tubs, the Hotpoints and the Hoovers, now command a premium on the second hand market. You're talking about £160 for a working example, so my advice to you, is if  you got a twin tub, don't throw it away.

Trident

Something a bit serious now because I'm going to talk about the pending decision on Trident renewal. Let's start off by pointing out something that might seem incongruous, Owen Smith, one of the hopefuls in the struggle to wrest the Labour Party leadership from Jeremy Corbyn, has mysteriously come out in favour of renewal. Why should an erstwhile member of CND (Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament) be performing such an apparent turnabout I wonder? Well the answer, or half of it, is pretty much transparent, Smith is a politician and I doubt very much his ostensible conviction in the principle of nuclear disarmament was in the least bit sincere. Quite why persons such as Smith have been getting away with this kind of mendacious behaviour for so long, is just one of those eternal mysteries, let's just put it down to the wilful gullibility of the party faithful.

So we have another faithless politician and while it's possible to reconcile Smith's inconsistency, with the insight we share into the character and moral turpitude of our politicians, it's not really a complete answer because it doesn't provide a motive. So what could the motive be I wonder, mmm... let me think, what would the cause of such a spectacular about face. What else do we know about Owen Smith, well he's hinted that despite European Convention's requisite on democratic governance, it would be legal to ignore the result of the recent referendum and that he might do so, were he in a position to cast such a decision. What I wonder, does Trident have to do with the UK's relationship with the EU and the prospect of leaving it?

In an effort to answer that, let's examine some relatively recent developments that didn't make it to the front pages. In 2012 the UK's treaty commitments to keep forces on German soil expired. In 2014 the British government announced the intention to withdraw its forces from Germany by 2018. In 2015, oh what happened then--well mysteriously for some completely unknown reason, a war kicked off in The Ukraine, throwing up a threat to European borders and surprise, surprise, renewed tension between the western powers and Russia. Mmm, I wonder if those are connected? Well let me give you a hint there, these sums are a little out of date but they serve to illuminate the subject. In 2011 the annual cost to the UK of the deployment on German soil was in excess of £2 billion annually. The estimated benefit to the German economy from household expenditure alone, was also in excess of £2 billion annually. Now factor in the cost to the German economy if they were to make up withdrawal of British troops with their own forces. And none of this expenditure, takes into consideration the cost of Trident. I'm thinking we're talking of a sum in the range of 10's of billions annually, imagine the German tax payer waking up to that. You think they're gonna be quite so happy to keep those BMW's on the roads of California and Massachusetts, when they're working for half the take home pay?

Ah you say, but Trident, it's for the defence of Britain, oh really you know what the flight time of Trident missile is? No you don't, nobody does it's a secret, I got my estimate by examining the flight time of Alan Shepard's Mercury flight and extending it with a 50% error. Following that method I get 15 minutes plus 7 1/2, which is 22 1/2 minutes, which by an astonishing coincidence is just 30 seconds longer than most published estimates. Now I don't know about you but if I were a Russian leader, I'd take that threat very seriously. And yet Britain maintains this nuclear armed fleet as a deterrent for what exactly? Oh right, invasion from the Russians because that's gonna happens some time soon isn't it? That march across Poland and the Baltic states, the relentless hordes pillaging through Germany, then trampling over France until they reach the coast. Finally, as they gather their forces for the final assault, their goal in sight, as they peer through their binoculars, focused beadily on the white cliffs of England. Yeah that sounds perfectly realistic.

Nope, what I think Trident is for, is to deter any incursion on mainland Europe. Originally to protect the German border from a quite credible threat, now extended to cover Poland and other territories, from a not quite so credible threat. So why exactly is the British tax payer, paying to protect Germany and Poland? Why indeed, why would a sovereign government give up enviable global trade relationships to narrow its trade relations with its recalcitrant continental neighbours, could the two facts be related in some way? And indeed they are, or least that's what I conclude because with Britain tied to Europe for trade, it means that Britain is invested in the defence of Europe in a very intimate fashion. Now does the fuss Brexit caused start to make sense, is it apparent why the most vitriolic reaction came from quarters, that you would expect had little invested in the outcome? Does it suggest a motive for Owen Smith's statement on Trident?

So what's gonna happen, are they going to renew Trident?  I think probably not if the Brexiteers have their way but I think also, there will be some equivocation, some kind of deal to obscure intent. After all, there are other players in this game and we've seen what happens abroad, in those nations that displease too frequently.

...Dawn of Justice, seen it.

I have to put my hands up, none of my predictions, or almost none, regarding Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice were accurate. In truth it's a pretty decent effort, yeah it has got the weird Man of Steel colour thing going on, as if it was processed at the lab yer granddad got his 8mm cine developed. Other than that and maybe slight drag in pace during the second act, it's well worth a gander.

I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to hint that the flick is rather dark in dramatic tone, the script delivers a pretty decent narrative though, one that neatly sidesteps all those horrible over worn themes I was expecting. You know what, even Afleck turns in a decent act, he's taciturn but certainly no plank, so why did the critics give it a hammering? Well I think I've got a handle on that, you see the flick is rather candid about exploring contemporary themes and it's the kind of candour verboten within the narrow confines of mainstream media. So I expect there were a few moments when the were journos choking on their popcorn.

For me it was pretty refreshing, I gotta be honest, the current Marvel Thor/Cap/Iron Man/Avengers continuity gives me the shivers. Ant Man wasn't too bad, as for the rest--ugh, I think I'd rather sit through my aunty's slide show of the WI jam making contest, the one from 1977 when the Elderflower harvest failed. Guardians of the Galaxy however, was rather entertaining and some of it quite Kirbyesque, so I'm looking forward to next one of those.

Batman v Superman does have an ending that's begging a sequel, I'm not quite sure if one is on the way, I hope so because the critics sorely need a kicking on this one.