I bumped into this Limerick I'd forgotten about, while I was going through some old files a few weeks ago. I thought it was funny when I wrote it but the reception it garnered was -- er, cool. Since I rediscovered it I've tried it out on a friend who, not only got the context he seemed to rather appreciate it. So I thought it was worth a post.
We meet a young girl called Vespa
In bed, our hero did test her
Le Chiffre eyed his pair
said look, there’s this chair
let’s make bright rosso your testa
Wednesday 31 October 2012
Friday 19 October 2012
Encounter with a metrication pedant
About this: I lapsed into some fruity language here, so skip if it this one if you find that sort of thing distastful.
"Why have you specified the dimensions in imperial units?"
"Er -- no reason, that's just what I use."
"Eck!" he exhaled a glottal hiss then explicitly expressed his sense of disgust and self righteousness, "...why people like you persist in using archaic units, I'll never understand"
"What do you mean: 'archaic units'? If you've ever tried to buy bloody timber you wouldn't think they're archaic when you find you're three centimeters short cos they don't sell two meter lengths just some half wit bollocking metric conversion of six foot lengths that are three fucking centimeters too fucking short"
He rolled his eyes so far back in their sockets he could have inspected his optic nerve "Haven't you heard of SI units?" he spoke with all the pretense he could muster.
"What's the sum of the angles of a triangle?"
"Uh -- 180 degrees, they do still teach basic geometry you know."
"It's pi radians in SI units, arsehole, why are people like you so full of shit?"
"Why have you specified the dimensions in imperial units?"
"Er -- no reason, that's just what I use."
"Eck!" he exhaled a glottal hiss then explicitly expressed his sense of disgust and self righteousness, "...why people like you persist in using archaic units, I'll never understand"
"What do you mean: 'archaic units'? If you've ever tried to buy bloody timber you wouldn't think they're archaic when you find you're three centimeters short cos they don't sell two meter lengths just some half wit bollocking metric conversion of six foot lengths that are three fucking centimeters too fucking short"
He rolled his eyes so far back in their sockets he could have inspected his optic nerve "Haven't you heard of SI units?" he spoke with all the pretense he could muster.
"What's the sum of the angles of a triangle?"
"Uh -- 180 degrees, they do still teach basic geometry you know."
"It's pi radians in SI units, arsehole, why are people like you so full of shit?"
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